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October 29, 2006

The Queen Ditz Meets The Naugha

How I kept a straight face I'll never know. Gawd's Grace, no doubt. HE has a sense of humor - warped and demented, but hey! HE is Gawd, right?

Lo these many years back, one of Mein Bruders had a girlfriend that would occasionally fall for one of my more outrageous claims.

Mein Bruder (who shall remain anonymous until and unless he cops to having such a ditz as a girlfriend - and trust me, she was/is a Queen Ditz), decided to shop for a water-bed. For the comfort for his sorely over-worked body, y'see.

Anyway, there we were, in the furniture store, looking at waterbeds. Comfortable, restful waterbeds. The frame for one of these waterbeds had padded siderails. Said padding was covered by "Prime Farm-raised Naughahyde", illustrated by one of THESE.

She, being a nice, kind, semi-sweet ditz, promptly freaked. "Awww... he's CUTE!"

I, being the nasty brute that I am, promptly popped up with "You really don't want to know about their personal habits."

The sales guy, being a nasty type himself, chimed in with "They're really... disgusting!"

Mein Bruder, being a little slow, finally got in there with "Yeah... they're... nasty!"

Ditz started off with "They're CUTE!", got to "Do they suffer?", and went into "That should be illegal!"

Ditz didn't last. When last heard from, she was living in Delaware. Miserably.

Mein Bruder figures he got off lightly.

Trust me, the Ditz turned out to be nastier than our descriptions of the Nasty Naugha.

After all, she was dumb enough to buy a Renault.

New.

Now, that's Dumb.

And.... it's true. Every single word.

Posted by ward at October 29, 2006 08:41 AM

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