« A Great Thought | Main | Heidi Cullen Advocates Scientific Censorship? »
January 19, 2007
It's all about Me, Invective, and the NY Times
I'm afraid that I've managed to mightily annoy not only an employee of a Major Mainstream Media outlet, but also, and much more importantly, my wife.
Let me explain....
Y'see, I happened to be next to the phone when it rang at 8:30PM this evening. On the other end of the connection was some guy (who very politely introduced himself, but I cannot remember his name), who tried to sell me something, a subscription, perhaps?
He said he was representing the New York Times.
Anyway, I offered to "crawl right through the phone and rip your ears right off your head, and after that, I'll get really rude!" Imagine an escalating volume, if you would.
I didn't swear.
I didn't offer to jump on an airplane to do him actual physical violence.
I was merely... rude, obnoxious, and noisy.
We're on the National Do-Not-Call Registry for a reason.
But, because of my immoderate (although limited - I didn't even get properly warmed up) invective, my beloved wife is annoyed with me.
She's much nicer than I am, and much less likely to use the telephone to puree and flambe some booger-eatin' moron of a tele-marketer who richly deserves every ounce of telephonic abuse and creative invective I can give him.
Bob, Jim, Fred, or whatever your name is, I won't apologize to you, not at all. I will, however, render a heart-felt apology to my beloved. She is, after all, much more important to me than your sleazoid old rag of an alleged newspaper.
And, Bob-Jim-Fred, if you should be so unwise as to call again, you'd better hope that you get to talk to Moogie, and not to me. She will be nice, and firmly polite, and will decline to buy whatever you're offering, and will, politely, refer to the National Do-Not-Call Registry.
If you get me, on the other hand, well, I learned, from a Chief Boatswain's Mate, USN, just how to go, for about two solid minutes, without swearing once, to elaborate on your personal habits, your ancestry, your current lack of discretion, your future prospects, and whether or not you have any smarts at all. Without repeating myself even once. And then, and only then, will I refer you, again, to the National Do-Not-Call Registry.
Think about that, Bob-Jim-Fred.
And Sweetheart, I'm really very sorry that I offended you.
UPDATE: I turned the comments on for this post.
Posted by ward at January 19, 2007 09:25 PM
Comments
Ward, what can I say Im like moogie in that Im polite and to the point and get said telemarketer of the phone as soon as possible.
However what gets me is my freaking phone number is a "private" unlisted in the local phone book NUMBER!
so how the freaking heck did they get it, I don't mind the odd call from my bank checking how I am and saying what the new loans are and stuff (which I always politely decline). It's the double glazing telemarketers and stuff the get me (only once in a while mind you)
The UK does have the equivlent of the "Do Not Call Register" - we also have one for "junk mail" must sign up for that one too.
Oh and good luck with moogie, you upset her and well that is a bad thing, now things could get worse she could threaten to set someone on you like she did me one day, ask her she'll tell ya and laugh while doing so.
Posted by: Gopher at January 25, 2007 02:34 PM